Aside from your family and close friends no one cares.
No one cares about your failures, your rejections, or your inconveniences.
Well…that’s an awkward way to start, isn’t it?
Why am I saying this? Because the people you think are watching you are too worried worrying about their own problems and what other people think about them.
Most people I’ve come across that struggle with improving their interpersonal skills is that they think too much about the what ifs.
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if I make a mistake?
What if they look at me weird?
What if they see I’m not used to this?
Here’s how to break free from this thinking, by asking yourself a few simple questions.
- What did you have for lunch yesterday?
- How about two days ago?
- How about last week?
See, most people don’t remember because it’s not important. We constantly filter out information we don’t need. It’s how we stay sharp on what’s important in life.
When you are improving your social skills, remember that if you make a mistake, most people will forget about it soon after.
The people you think are watching and paying attention to you have their own issues. No one is focused on you as much as you may believe and that, my friends, is the dirty little secret.
No one gives a shit
Even if someone you know gave two shits (which is double the interest level), why would it bother you? What does it tell you about them that they have nothing else going on in their life, but to constantly think about your awkwardness at double the shit-rate? Do you really care about the opinion of someone that has nothing going on in their life?
I mean, seriously.
(Tired of reading? Watch my 60 sec video instead)
If this is an area in your life you thoroughly want to improve, then you must take action. There’s no way around it, but through it. Eventually the anxiety will start to reduce, the opinions of others will start to dwindle, and the feeling of discomfort will become normal.
Where do you start? You just start. Waiting for perfection is the enemy of execution.
Take a moment to consider…
…That instead of binge watching Game of Thrones, you could go to the grocery store and say hello to someone working there.
…That instead of playing Candy Crush on your phone on the subway, you could ask someone how their day went.
…That instead of putting on your headphones on at work, you could ask someone new if they want to have lunch with you.
Imagine them taking a shit
Usually, the problem people fear the most is that they worry about what someone will think about them. That’s why you should just imagine them taking a poo. Really, give it a shot. Why?
Because it humanizes them and thus, takes them off the pedestal you put them on.
Taking more risks is inversely related to how much you care about the opinions of others. The less you care, the better you get.
Do you remember when you were a kid? You would just do, you wouldn’t think and outweigh the pros & cons of every little action. We weren’t born with the fear we have now or a sense of rejection. The good news? You are in full control of this thinking.
Wherever you are in your skill set, you can start today and improve. Do whatever it takes just to get out of your comfort zone a little.
- Make an effort to talk to someone you don’t know
- Ask a friend how their day is going even if you already know the answer
- Have that lunch with your co-worker that you have been postponing
You want to be different, then do it. Work at your weaknesses. Put in the time. How much longer are going to live wondering what if?